My turn - the good and bad of OT

First of all I'd like to say that these are just my impressions fueled by my insecurities, feelings and moral outlook. I don't mean to make anyone feel bad or like they did anything on purpose.

I found RWTV during BB5, I believe. I get so wrapped up in BB. My kids and now my bf think I'm unstable in that when it's over I feel like I've lost a part of my life. I don't know why I get so wrapped up, swear every year I won't, but I do and will again. I saw OT mentioned but had no idea what OT was. By luck I found my way there. "What a bunch of funny, witty peeps", I thought. I remember Kimmah and her spectabulous hair. Then the electrion threads started and I am so political. My whole morality, deep beliefs, and who I am is wrapped up in my political views. It's no surprise that PRE's comments and views piss me off. I just find his tone so superior. His posts say to me "I'm so above all of you and my views are right and you foolish people are all going to hell". He can protest that he doesn't mean to appear this way but time after time of hearing "That's why us conservatives don't get (understand, like) you liburals" the message is clear. It is true that I was getting more knee jerking with each one and finally realized I needed to get away. But before I did I got into the SS gift exchange and that was so fun. As some have said in Carey's blog, there were just so many posters that I couldn't keep them all straight. Beside Kimmah and Nutz, the rest are a blur.

Then BB6 came along and I found myself on RWTV again and, after it was over, I wondered into the minefield that is OT. I found so much humor, quick wit there and would laugh much more than IRL. I told myself that I wouldn't read any of PREs posts or responses. Then the whole gay marriage threads and, by god, I got so upset again. The first one I remember had HD so upset.

Side note - I've always been great at jumping in with both feet when I think someone I like is being mistreated - jumping in for myself, not so much.

I got so mad and angry and started my snipping. Then Carey was hurt and I got even angrier. Then PRE and I had an email exchange which was nasty. (The worms up my ass is a classic and lets me have a smile when I think of those posts.)

Then (remember these are my feelings and now I know they are irrational) when I was defending (I thought) HD (which is kinda funny 'cause he can defend himself much more eloquently-sp than I ever could) I felt he went cold on me. He no longer answered my red flaggy things. I felt hurt. (HD - now I can see that I wasn't helping the situation by getting nasty and knee jerking and calling out Pre and Rulz. But in my mind, at the time, I felt that I was defending all my gay friends and my brother.) Then I pulled out of the SS gift exchange for two reasons: 1. I was afraid that I'd get PRE, and 2. no one there liked me anyway.

Since then, except for Cary, Syren, CSTL, Nutz and a few others no one commented to me even when I purposely tried to get a response, with a compliment or such. So , instead of examining what I did to cause this, I just decided that everyone was rude and clickish. Then when other peeps felt slighted I jumped on that band wagon. I guess that I was making a click of "the slighted" so to speak. Then there was the dislike of AB that became obvious. Altho I found some of her posts cutting, I didn't find them that offensive. Her heart seems to be in the right place, her words kinda awkward. GF Doo has expressed her feelings which I relate to also.

Side note: My like/dislike of people is usually around what I see in their heart. I'm not the type that can disagree on value issues and still proclaim friendship with a person. By values I mean, I can and will never be friends with a predjudiced person, whether the predjudice is racial, religious, sexual oriented. That is a core belief in my heart. A religious person can believe that being gay is a sin but in their hearts like gays and believe that gays deserve the same rights as (what do I call us) ungay and I can be their friend. If they believe being gay is a sin and that gays should rightly be discriminated against - then I could never be a friend. I, most of the time, can be sorta friendly around them, but if the "vomit of their feelings" start coming out. 99.9% of the time the fight (figuratively 'cause I'm a wimp physically) is on. Insert in the above any ethnic group or religious group.

So that's what I mean about AB's posts and that her heart was in the right place. I know some of you greatly dislike her and that's ok.

I missed the banning while "boycotting" OT but I did realize some peeps were gone, especially Kimmah since I remembered her. And nothing could get me to the 2nd other place because if I don't cut down my visiting of OT and blobs to a reasonable amount my life will be sleep, OT, blogs - repeat!

I must admit that I still get some of you mixed up, for instance it took a long time to know who was Augie and who was Arkie (could you have more similar names). I've got a firm hold on Arkie now but Augie let's see - you were born in August and are really cute and live in .. It's no offense (I kinda feel I've dug a hole with this) Augie but, as was said on Carey's blog there are so many but after I post this you will be engraved in my memory 'cause I'm visiting blogs and OT so that I can answer a quiz about you. (Gosh this isn't going well.) To me it's like finding myself in a high school of 1000 others and trying to catch up. I sorta know you all, want to know you more, enjoy your posts (and especially your blogs) but except for a few everyone else is lumped into a group of people I find funny and like but haven't got a hold on the individuality yet. (Is this making sense).

Anyway back to OT and feeling left out - after reading Carey's blog it all made sense to me. For those of you who don't want to hurt feelings, we all will understand that none of us can reply to everyone. I will visit all the blogs I can, when i can, comment when I can 'cause when it comes right down to it we do it (visit blogs and OT) for ourselves. We do it for entertainment, to find people like us, to find people unlike us. And when we bond with another it enriches our lives.

Now if you are still here and awake - 'top of the morning to ya' it's almost St. Patrick's day and I'm always green!

All grammar errors and spelling errors are dedicated to: who is it again? The grammar police person?