Diagnosis Needed - send funds also

Please diagnose me: I just took three days off work. Yes, three in a row for no reason – well there were reasons. I will list my symptoms and my guesses at a cause. Symptoms: I have been having some type of chest discomfort for two weeks. It’s not pain, per se, but it is uncomfortable. It’s more an ache. I have been having headaches constantly. I almost never have headaches. They weren’t disabling, just achy. Throbby when I laid down. My neck starting aching Friday night. Sunday night I had a little bit of flu-bowel issues. Monday morning I just couldn’t get up. I slept until 2:30 in the afternoon. I woke with an achy body – from knees up and elbows in – trunk aches with partial limbs. I slept all evening Monday, Monday night and got up Tuesday around 1 p.m. I was unable to sleep Tuesday night until really late. Wednesday I got up around 9 a.m. and stared at the TV. No further fluid issues after Sunday night. Did I mention that I didn’t even call work until Tuesday night. I just didn’t want to call! Couldn’t -?? Friday I was informed by a close friend that I look OLD!! Don’t forget I’ve bought every ring that has crossed my sight and I’ve maxed out. I don't even want alot of them anymore. My two bestest don’t want to live, my oldest son is lost, my youngest son is getting laid off (we were aware that his job might only last 3-6 months), my foster daughter has disappeared. Diagnosis: I’ve lost my mind permanently. I lost my mind temporarily – bi-polar disorder. (I’ve always suspected this but everyone says I’m not bad enough for a diagnosis – HI HI HIGHS, low low lows) I am being a stubborn heart patient and not heeding good advice to visit the local EMR. Carey gave me the bird flu. My lungs are shot and aching partially out my limbs. I’m vain. Subject Change My “Life’s Little Treasure Book On Wisdom” written by H. Jackson Brown, Jr. called me to open it today. “Get involved in your local government. Politics are too important to be left to the politicians” JOKE Heard on the radio this am on the way to work: Two farmers are discussing politics. One farmer proclaims that he is netural, politically speaking. The other farmer replies, “Well then when you leave here put your car in netural and see how far you go. At least if’n you put your car in D you’ll go forward and if’n you put it in R you’ll go backward. Netural won’t get you anywhere!” Baaaaawwwwwwaaaahhaa. Snnnnnooooorrrrffffllle! ROFLMAA!!!!!!!! Me loves me some farmers! LUNCH UPDATE - immediately when I got into my car Steve Perry was singing Separate Ways. If it would have been Lights I might have driven straight to the bay. - - New diagnosis - - Maybe I just need to come to SF with Arkie, or Kim, or someone! ON THE BACK OF A SEMI - Hooter inspection 65' ahead - WTF!